The husband who left his young marriage for an older woman!
By Bunmi Sofola
It’s only an incurable romantic that believes that these days marriages are meant to last a lifetime. Yet, no newlyweds believe they are in a three-years-only contract. Gbemi’s marriage was virtually over before it really had time to record a semblance of pleasant memories. She tells her story: “If it is true that a drowning man always sees flashes of his past life just before his life is eventually claimed, I must have experienced same the day I finally admitted to myself that my marriage was a horrible mistake. I relived flashes of things I did with my husband, how we started … young, very much in love and full of dreams. The world was at our feet, and as long as we wee in love, we had nothing to worry about.
“Only three short years after marriage, I sat on my favourite chair, the radio blaring music that was meaningless to me. Then, all of a sudden, this tune came on and all I could hear of the music was the singer’s constant refrain: “Where is the love that you promised me?” The single might as well be echoing my thoughts, and I sat thee, too numb to think. I shed all the tears there were to shed. The future looked bleak, and my husband was somewhere else living with a woman who wasn’t free to marry him.
Where do you begin to tell a sad story? A story that took a very important chapter of your life? A story that marked the beginning of something beautiful and, in the same breath told a disastrous end? Several times I’d asked myself why it should happen. What did I do wrong? Why was it me that should feel so hollow, so uninterested about life? Men meant nothing to me. I was wary of starting anything that should drain me emotionally as my marriage had done. I’d given more than three years of me to a man, I’d given him my whole life, all I’ve got, and he’d nonchalantly thrown those years back in my face.
‘The ideal couple’, that was what friends called us for the first six months we courted. We wee lucky to have found each other, they told us; and we were so tuned to each other that besides being in love, we had companionship. We could sit for hours talking. Him about his job, me about mine.
“I was 21 when I finished studying as a radiographer and got a good job that paid more than I could imagine. He was two years older and already a college graduate. His parents are quite rich and he read business administration, instead of wasting his talents working for other companies, his parents decided to set up an advertising firm for him. They had good business contacts, and in a short while, business boomed so much that within a year, Diran, my husband, was already riding a big car and had a tastefully furnished apartment to the bargain.
“We didn’t have to worry about money in short, and since both of us agreed we were madly in love we thought nothing should stop us fro getting married, so we got married. Eighteen months later, we had a son. He was a novelty and everybody spoilt him. Diran played the role of the proud father to the hilt. I was sure we’d had it made.
“After our won was born, my husband gave me a small car to move around with since business demanded that he should be out on the job for hours. Suddenly, I discovered that now I had my own car, my husband was not always rushing home to take me wherever I wanted to go. I didn’t often see him until late in the evening and when I complained, he always had excuses as to why he had to stay out so late. His business was still picking p and he had to see clients constantly and entertain them if he wee to keep them. Very genuine excuses they were and I didn’t want to play the role of a nagging wife so I kept quiet. Keeping quiet meant being on my own most of the time after office hours. I cooked meals for myself alone. Also several people were helping with my son and it wasn’t important that I should fall over myself dancing to his whims.
“Then, out of my loneliness came this wild rumour that even the smuggest wife dread”, my husband was seeing another woman